Monday, June 18, 2007

Distance Without

Jacquie smiled at the now-familiar email address sitting benignly in her inbox. She could hardly wait to open it and read the wonderful things inside, yet she hesitated, savouring the moment of anticipation, just like the moment when two new lovers’ fingertips touch for the very first time.

How did this all happen? The email sat there, sent to her from a man from so very far, far away, on the other side of the world. From someone that she had met in a light hearted chat room a couple of months ago, but what seemed so much longer though. Someone that she would never have met, would never have known even existed all the days of her life without the intervention of technology. Cold, unfeeling, uncaring technology. Who would have thought?

And yet there it was. The connection. The mental bonding between two people that thus far had been spiraling through space in two very separate directions, never to meet, never to acknowledge each others existence. Living, breathing, laughing, crying… separately… forever.

Until now.

They had exchanged photos. Grainy little images that had stolen a fleeting moment in each other’s life and now painted a whole new picture of a whole new person, a whole as yet undiscovered new world. A frozen smile from someone who had now become very dear. Someone who helped while away lonely hours deep in the night, or long throughout the day, at opposite ends of the earth. Someone with remarkably the same thoughts, feelings, desires as her own.

Each of them waking up every morning alone in their own worlds, wondering what it would be like to abandon their own lives and take the plunge. Just wondering. Hesitant, afraid, wondering. Holding on to the present as if it were something very fragile, very precious, like a brand new butterfly still wet from it’s cocoon, but too afraid to startle it with a concrete and definite decision.

Was that all there was to be? They had spoken of the future. The desire to continue as is but the hesitation of falling so deeply that the miles between them could only be inevitably measured in pain and heartache. It was a real possibility. One could take the chance, or the other. Who would? Would anyone? Who knew?

She sighed, yes this was the way it was. Her hand poised over her mouse and stroked the email lightly with the pointer, her computer unaware, uncaring of the life energy that was being generated in her, the pulse leaping from her fingertips. Pausing just a very tiny moment to savour the feeling of joy she felt every time she saw a new email from him. She clicked.

(Written by Tania)