Dear Diary - July 23, 1980

July 23, 1980

Dear Diary—

Okay, I guess seeing as how I’m about to be a college student, I should probably stop with the whole “Dear Diary” thing. Guess it’s a little juvenile, but I’m not really ready to let it go just yet.

It’s been almost two months since I graduated from high school and I’m not saying I miss it or anything. Who in their right mind would actually miss my blowhard chem teacher? Thank God I don’t have to spend another day in his stupid classroom listening to that stupid braying chuckle. Seriously, I think something’s not right with that man. So no, I definitely don’t miss school. I’m not sure why I’m feeling so weird right now.

Oh, hang on-Will’s going on about something in the kitchen. Does he have any idea how loud he is sometimes? ‘Scuse me while I go discipline my baby brother.

Okay, I’m back. I absolutely can not believe I’m admitting this, but I’m totally going to miss Will. What will he do without me? I’m not being facetious either. I like that word-facetious. It sounds way better than smart-ass. He and Karen and LeeAnn are planning a surprise party for me before I leave and he thinks I don’t know anything about it. It’s sort of adorable, actually. It’s so funny watching him try not to slip-up in casual conversation. He’s really smart, but you know, he’s kind of an easy mark.

I’m supposed to go out tonight with Christopher, but I sort of don’t want to. He’s really sweet and all and I feel like such a jerk for even thinking this, but I don’t think we’re meant to be one of those high school love stories, where Jonny Prom and Susie Cheerleader get married right out of high school and live happily ever after. Huh. I’m so not a Susie Cheerleader. I can’t believe I just wrote that. But that’s what I’m trying to say. I think maybe we’re both meant for other things. LeeAnn thinks I should stay with him at least till school starts, but maybe it would be better if I ended things now. He’s got that look in his eye, you know? Besides, if it really is true love and all that, then things will work out right in the end no matter what, right?

I want to do so much! All love to Dubuque, but I want to see what else is out there. I feel like I’m sitting on a precipice, but I’m not scared at all because I know that any minute now some cool mountain climber guy is going to show up and teach me how navigate it all. I’m really not scared. I’m nervous, but that is not the same thing as scared. At all.

Geez, I guess I’d better get ready for tonight. I’m going to do it. Break up with Christopher, I mean. I feel bad. I always feel badly when I hurt someone and I do really care about him. It’s just. I don’t know. But I’m going to. Just not tonight.

(Written by Elizabeth Webb)